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Column

Dis Guy Walks into a Bar...

Wednesday August 22, 2001


  • TITLE: "Dis Guy Walks into a Bar…" This is a take from the wonder 1982 comedy "My Favorite Year" which starred Peter O'Toole. There is one scene when Mark Linn-Baker (later Cousin Larry on the TV show, "Perfect Strangers") is trying to teach the girl of his dreams how to be funny. He tells her (more or less) that all good jokes start with the words, "Dis Guy …"

  • "…Welfare Reform …" Here is the link to the entire press release from HHS.

  • "… Connie Chung …" This, from Jenn Shreve of Salon.com:
    Times were tough for three-time Emmy award-winning Chung in 1995. Her weekly magazine show, "Eye to Eye With Connie Chung," wasn't catching the eyes of Nielsen family members. Although she was the second woman in 17 years to co-anchor an evening news program (Barbara Walters was the first), "The CBS Evening News With Connie Chung and Dan Rather" was in last place behind ABC and NBC. To make matters worse, things were tense between her and Rather: He'd been patronizingly advising her on ways to sharpen her journalism skills. After a publicly announced effort to conceive a child with her husband, Maury Povich, they'd turned to adoption instead. And then came the b-word incident.

    Ratings-starved CBS played up the b-word incident big-time. I know I canceled my evening plans after reading about the faux pas in the morning papers. But when public opinion of the interview soured, the struggling network directed all blame at Chung. Five months later, on May 18, she was hoisted from her anchor chair and "With Connie Chung" was hacked off the end of "Eye to Eye." The sassy journalist who'd ruled network news just a few years before seemed to disappear from the face of the planet, or at least from the TV screen.

  • "… target letter …" This, from the gottrouble.com website:
    Federal prosecutors throughout the country send out what they call "target letters" in many cases. A target letter is simply a letter from the United States Attorney's office to an individual advising the individual that he or she is the target of a federal investigation. Usually the letter will advise the individual as to the nature of the federal charges being investigated, i.e., bank fraud, money laundering, etc.

  • "…West Virginia Jokes…" Also known as Polish Jokes, and (in Western Ohio) Kentucky Jokes. Here's an example: A West Virginian is in Ohio and wants to cross the Ohio River to go home, but he can't find his boat. An Ohioan offers to help by saying he'll shine his flashlight across the water and the Mountaineer can walk across.

    "You must think I'm simple," the West Virginian says. "I know a joke when I hear one. I'll get half-way across and you'll turn off the light!"

  •     Mullings' Catchy Caption of the Day:


    OK, Senators welcome to Korea. The camera is right there. We'll
    do the scene from M*A*S*H you requested. Senator Sarbanes you'll
    play Col. Potter. Senator Specter you'll be Radar. Senator Biden,
    as you demanded, you can play Hawkeye. And Senator Thompson why don't
    as you just play the part of the Admiral from Red October again?

    ( Photo: AP /Ahn Young-joon) ____________________________________________________________________________________

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