The Gray Lady: You Go Girl!
Rich Galen Monday July 31, 2006
- "... REWRITE ...":
Friday, in a weakened state due to my nearly fatal Summer Cold, I implied that women are not as tough as men when it comes to these sorts of things:
- Men are different from women when it comes to personal health issues. The Mullings Director of Standards & Practices is, I suspect, like most women and will head to the doctor at the first sign of a sniffle.
- Men are bred to suck it up, strap it on, go out and bring back a mastodon for dinner. Illness? Not unless you pass out. Injury? Not unless the words "gaping hole" are involved.
At last count, 157,034 of you wrote to me to disagree. Three of you did not call me a horrible name.
Upon further review, I would like to - as they do in Congress - "revise and extend my remarks." The new version of those two points follow:
- A Man, when he has a cold, will refuse to go to the doctor, but will also will refuse to take even the most elemental of over-the-counter symptom-relievers. He, will, however, moan and groan and pretend he is not begging for sympathy and will demand a gold star on the refrigerator door for simply taking out the garbage.
- A Woman, when she has a cold, will get up at her normal time, boot the old man's butt out of bed so he's not late to work, go downstairs and, while the coffee is brewing, pack the kids' lunches for day camp, take a glug of DayQyil (so she doesn't get drowsy) and start breakfast.
- She will wait with the children until the camp bus comes, then go back into the house and finish cleaning out the garage which the old man simply couldn't get to the previous weekend.
- At lunchtime she will do her weekly turn at the second-hand shop which raises money for several charities, then hop over to the Safeway to pick up dinner fixings - different meal for each kid and the old man (even though he is fond of saying "this isn't a restaurant, you know" when the children demand something different from what he had previously demanded).
- She calibrates what time to start which dish so they all arrive at the table at the same time as the people who will eat them, she calls Tel Aviv (collect) and settles the Middle East War.
- After getting the kids settled down with their afternoon juice and low-fat home-made oatmeal cookies, the old man drags and and bitches about what a HORRIBLE day he's had.
That's the version I'm sticking with.
- "... Gray Lady ...": The "Gray Lady" as a nickname for the New York Times appears to date back to the early 1950's. On the occassion of the papers' centennial, according to some sources, a man named Benjamin H. Hamm sent a had note published saying: Heartiest congratulations upon the 100th anniversary of THE NEW YORK TIMES. May the old gray lady never die and its presses keep rolling along."z
- "... NY Times Editorial ...": Here's the link to the NY Times' endorsement of Ned Lamont.
Registration is required.
- "... MULLINGS ARCHIVES ..." I am asking you to pick your favorite one or two all-time MULLINGS. Here are links to the Archive pages going back to 1998.
Years 1998 - 2001
Years 2002 - 2005
Current Year Arcives
- Mullfoto of the Day
Marketing Milestones: This was taken from my car window along a major street in the Washington, DC area. I found this amusing because I wonder how many people have driven by, seen this very excellent sign, and said, "Oh! Honey! Look. There's a tooth whitening salon. Let's just stop in and get our teeth bleached."
Catchy Caption of the Day
Actual Caption:
Kuala Lumpur children. Malaysian parents will no longer be allowed to give their children names deemed unsuitable by authorities, a report says.
Thank goodness NY Jet's rookie D'Brickashaw Ferguson escaped to New Jersey before this law went into effect.
(AFP/File/Tengku Bahar)
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