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New Feature!
A very popular segment of MULLINGS is the occasional appearance of the Greek Chorus, which always begins with:
Dear Mr. Mullings:
Because I don't have enough to keep me out of trouble, I have decided to begin a weekly feature called, as you might expect: Dear Mr. Mullings
Dear Mr. Mullings will attempt to answer your questions about politics, interpersonal relationships, why things are, and particle OR quantum physics. Whatever question you've been wondering about, Dear Mr. Mullings will attempt to answer.
BE AWARE: You know that car ad which shows an SUV driving off a dock and into a lake, and shows the children in the back seat marveling at the fish they can see through the windshield? For the same reason the manufacturer has to put a disclaimer on the bottom of the screen telling you that this is a SIMULATION, I have to tell you the following:
Any advice from Dear Mr. Mullings should be treated as satire. Don't leave your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife based upon any advice you get from Mr. Mullings.
Don't invest in, divest of, buy, sell or trade anything based upon anything you read on Dear Mr. Mullings.
In fact, do not take ANY action based upon what you read in Dear Mr. Mullings.
For instance, don't tie your dog, cat, or child to a tree leaving plenty of fresh water and dry food when you leave for a weekend of skiing because you read on Dear Mr. Mullings that pets/kids will be perfectly OK for up to five days. With that in mind �
Send your questions to me at the usual address: chat@mullings.com and I'll pick out the ones I think are the most interesting, or lead to the funniest answer, or make me crankiest and post them � let's say � on Wednesdays.
Include your name, city and state. I'll probably use initials: "RG, Alexandria, VA." Dear Mr. Mullings:
Why isn't anyone mentioning Arnold Schwarzenegger as a potential Presidential candidate?
It's a Constitutional thing which you would know if you hadn't spent every minute of every day in Mr. Mirandi's 11th-grade Social Studies class staring at a girl named Marcia (who, you may remember, said she would not go out with you "if you were the last creature on Earth").
Article VIII, Section 3 states: Section 4 has the only exemption: History buffs point out that this section was inserted after a rather embarassing affair in Canada some years prior when Miss Saskatoon, Saskatchewan suffered a "wardrobe malfuntion" during halftime of the Provencial Championship Curling match having, literally, fallen out of her sash (if you know what I mean and I think you do).
Schwarzenegger - which contains 14 letters - is, therefore, five over the Constitutional maximum.
Next ques ...
Uh, yeah. Why?
Oh. Well, I get confused with those Roman numerals. Have you ever tried to decode the copyright date of a movie before the screen switches? All those Ms and Vs and Xs all the time ...
Anyway there's that other Constitutional requirement in Article II Section 1:
Inasmuch as Gov. Schwarzenegger was born in Austria and became a naturalized citizen of the US on September 16, 1984 (having received a BA in Business from the University of Wisconsin in 1979 which I did not know until I looked all this up) he really is Constitutionally barred from being President of the United States.
Ok. I think this may be great fun. Send in your question to chat@mullings.com and we'll crank this up for real next week.
Rich
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