I got a call, the other night, from a reporter for a Great Metropolitan Newspaper who asked me what the potential political fallout might be from the debate over whether airport security people should be federal employees or not.
I told the reporter that I didn't think most people cared from whom they received a pay check. What travelers want is to be confident that the person staring at the x-ray screen, or waving the wand around you, or pawing through your (or at least MY) boxer shorts has been thoroughly checked out, properly trained, and is being appropriately paid.
The House, last night, narrowly rejected the Senate version of the bill which would make some 28,000 airport security people direct federal employees. After that amendment went down, the House easily passed another version which would, in effect, deputize airport security employees without putting them directly on the federal payroll.
Since the air transport system came back on-line following the 9/11 attacks, I have flown some 27,000 miles on about 23 different segments. I have been through security at airports from Washington, DC to Atlanta to San Diego and back.
The rules surrounding commercial flights have been evolving every week I have flown. As an example, it is now standard that only one piece of carry-on luggage is permitted per person. That is augmented by an additional item which is "a personal item such as a purse, a briefcase, or a computer case."
That addendum has given rise to some interestingly sized "personal items." People are cramming as much as possible into what used to be their slim, stylish briefcases. In my case, I found out I could stuff my very manly Eddie Bauer green canvas and leather shoulder bag into my Orvis green canvas and leather briefcase.
Unfortunately, it makes my Orvis briefcase expand to the size of a summer-camp trunk like the kind you might have taken to Camp Waweepex and sometimes forgot to lock and someone would put a creepy crawler reptile the size of an alligator in it right on top of your underpants and everyone in your cabin would wait before going to the chow hall for dinner until you opened it so that when the creature jumped out at you and made you cry they could all laugh at you and have a great time. That was really funny you guys. I hope you are still very proud of yourselves.
Of course, that never happened to me. It happened to another kid. In a different cabin. At a different camp. During a different summer.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Carry-ons.
I went for several weeks with my luggage sailing through the x-ray machines. Last week, however, I had to have the full monty examination because of a fingernail clipper I had in my wash kit. The model clipper I had was deemed legal because it didn't have an attached nail file (illegal) but that couldn't be determined without unpacking everything to get to it. I forgot to take it out in Cheyenne, so I went through the whole examination again at the screening location in Denver.
For everyone who wrote to me about the Seven-Year Airplane column to tell me I didn't know what I was talking about here's my answer: (1) This is not new news; (2) If the Joint Strike Fighter is supposed to be the next generation technology platform for fighter aircraft why do we think that technology in 2008 will be anything like technology in 2001?
Here's all I want: I want the contract to provide the paper for all the change orders.
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